I'm the author of BETA TEST, a novel that Publishers Weekly calls
"an unusually lighthearted apocalyptic tale."
It's four months since BETA TEST came out and this month things got interesting in areas I never expected. Locally I've been approached to come talk about the book with a college class and with librarians!
The first group is the Science Fiction and Religion class at my ol' alma mater, Ithaca College. I'll go in for a couple of classes later this week. I will be forced to confess my lack of "belief" in a diety and wholesale ignorance of 90% of scripture, then we can dive right into just how BETA TEST touches on religion anyway, because that's how I do.
Second, I'm gonna speak in may with a group of librarians from the South Central Regional Library Council who are reading the book as part of their monthly discussion series! And later this year I'll be heading home to Hornell to talk to the library there, too. (That's the library I used growing up, where I once read so many books in one summer I won a plane ride over the Canisteo Valley, and later read all the 87th Precinct novels they had on hand. Good times.)
If you've got a bookstore, class, library, or group that wants to talk BETA TEST with the author, I bet he'll show up. Hell, even if it's by Skype.
It's no April Fool Joke -- For this weekend only, BETA TEST is only99₵ in ebook format for Amazon Kindle and Barnes & Noble Nook! This goes for all the books from my publisher, Hadley Rille Books. Check out the whole list, and get some great reading super cheap before the prices go back up to normal.
A reminder -- tonight at 6:30, I'll sign copies of BETA TEST for anyone who wants to stop by RiverRead Books at 5 Court Street. There are copies at the store now, and I'll be there to scribble on them all you want. I may even do a reading if people want that.
Meanwhile, yesterday I had a fantastic interview with Bill Jaker of OFF THE PAGE on WSKG Radio. Bill's the best book interviewer ever, I swear, he was asking me questions that were astounding me -- he found depths to my writing I didn't even know. We even got a write-in question from someone in my old home town of Hornell. If you want to hear the full 45 minutes of my pontificating about the innerworkings of my book -- with lots of SPOILERS -- you can listen to it online at http://wskg.org/episode/beta-test.
Two stops for me around Binghamton, NY, this month -- first on March 20th I'll be heading to the studios of WSKG radio, the local NPR powerhouse that serves up content along the entire southern tier of New York state, to be on OFF THE PAGE, the show that interviews local authors! It'll air live at 1pm, and repeat in the evening at 7pm, so tune in if you're in New York. I'll post a Web address later that'll feature the streaming online version of the interview.
Then the next night, March 21st at 6:30, I'll sign copies of BETA TEST for anyone who wants to stop by RiverRead Books at 5 Court Street. Can't wait! See you there.
Fire up your Amazonian ebook readers, kids! BETA TEST is officially available for Kindle right now. (We're working on some formating issues, but nothing that should impact enjoyment. Go forth and download.
BTW, the cost? Only $2.99. Buy it for a reader you love. Or TWO.
UPDATE: BETA TEST is now available for order or pre-order on Amazon.co.UK and Amazon.ca (for United Kingdom and Canada, respectively), as well!
I was very lucky to make a dear friend at WorldCon in 2009 in Montreal. Katrina Archer is a another grad of VP, but from a different year, and yet all of us from year XI consider her one of us, one of us, one of us. She's a writer and software engineer and project manager in the world of video games and hell, she once worked at Pixar long enough to get her name on patents they filed, which I find unspeakably cool. She also speaks French, which is sexy as hell, and invaluable when you're in Montreal, not because people there don't speak English, but they like you more if you have a French-speaker with you. She also caught H1N1 that year, which sucked.
Maybe 2009 was just better for me. It was also the same year I pitched BETA TEST to my publisher, so it has a lot of significance. Which brings me around today: Kat featured me in a guest post on her blog, where she has a feature called Prime Writing to showcase authors. Take a look! She even blew up the book logo big on the top of the page.
There exists on the Web a page where my name now share space with authors like N.K. Jemisin and Richard Kadrey and S.M. Stirling. It's because author John Scalzi -- author of OLD MAN'S WAR, president of the Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA), and sometimes instructor at my old workshop alma mater of Viable Paradise -- let me guest post on his widely read blog called Whatever today, as part of his ongoing "Big Idea" series for showcasing new authors with new books. I got to pontificate about the idea of BETA TEST, where it came from, and how I sat on it for years. Scalzi introduces me by saying:
Not every writer comes up with an idea and immediately moves on it. Some let the idea sit and develop — or let life get them to a point where they’re ready to take it on. Take Eric Griffith and his novel Beta Test. The idea was there, but were the conditions ripe for the writing? Griffith explains when he knew when it was time to take Beta Test to gold master.
You should read the rest of what I had to say and tell your friends. My thanks again to John Scalzi!
While I work on getting the local store to set something up, at least nationwide people can pre-order BETA TEST on Barnes & Noble, starting today! Amazon's also got it ready for pre-sales. Both are still only showing the hard cover, but eventually the trade paperback and Kindle/Nook ebook versions will join it. I'll keep you posted.
Also, for those of you who don't live in my old home town, the radio station I worked at as a teen did a nice interview with me for their morning Newsmaker's show. You can find it online -- skip ahead to the -8:45 time stamp to get to me and skip the stuff that comes first.
Okay, it's not the New York Times, but I'm glad the Ithaca Times wrote about me and BETA TEST today, with just a week to go until the book is out. They didn't get it all correct (book should be out before Dec. 20, and I didn't meet my publisher through Viable Paradise), but I'm okay with some revisionist history for the sake of publicity. Go read it now!
I spend a lot of time at bookstores, but mostly in their cafe's writing. Then perusing shelves, wondering why I bother and how on earth any book I write could ever be seen past all the noise....
But it's much worse for those who work there. Check out this list from the fired employees of some dead Border's store somewhere <via GalleyCat>. It's a riot. Because it's true. Especially the Nicholas Sparks comment.
US Airways, I don't have much choice but to fly with you... you're one of the two airlines that flies out of my local airport, and I like to support it, plus I am cheap and hate to pay for parking in other cities.
All that said, while I acknowledge that airlines are easy targets these days...we should have a chat about customer service. Let's use my own experience as an example.
Take, for instance, yesterday, Sunday August 21st. I started my day leaving Reno. I dutifully checked my not-very-large suitcase when I got my boarding pass, and did not once complain that you charged me an extra $25 for the privilege of having my luggage accompany me in your cargo holds. I know airlines have it tough. Like I said, I'm lazy and don't want to drag the suit case through four airports and drop it on people's heads when I try to get it in the overhead.
So when the plane is not even boarding and the worker at the gate for flight 521 from Reno to Phoenix starts checking bags FOR FREE (because a computer told him there might not be room for them all), I'm a little pissed.
Fast forward several hours...
It's 8:45pm Eastern, I'm in Philadelphia Airport, Concourse F, waiting for flight 3620 to Ithaca, NY, to board. Then it's 9pm. Then 9:10pm. Nothing. No one comes to the gate. No one changes the sign. A plane sits alone and forlorn at the end of the jetway. Frequent checks of the board in the terminal say that the flight is ON TIME. (Note the picture... even at 9:53pm, the flight scheduled to leave 23 minutes before was still supposedly ON TIME. Hows that for "checking my status"?)
US Airways, I don't have much choice but to fly with you... you're one of the two airlines that flies out of my local airport, and I like to support it, plus I am cheap and hate to pay for parking in other cities.
All that said, while I acknowledge that airlines are easy targets these days...we should have a chat about customer service. Let's use my own experience as an example.Take, for instance, yesterday, Sunday August 21st. I started my day leaving Reno. I dutifully checked my not-very-large suitcase when I got my boarding pass, and did not once complain that you charged me an extra $25 for the privilege of having my luggage accompany me in your cargo holds. I know airlines have it tough. Like I said, I'm lazy and don't want to drag the suit case through four airports and drop it on people's heads when I try to get it in the overhead. So when the plane is not even boarding and the worker at the gate for flight 521 from Reno to Phoenix starts checking bags FOR FREE (because a computer told him there might not be room for them all), I'm a little pissed. Fast forward several hours. It's 8:45pm Eastern, I'm in Philadelphia Airport, Concourse F, waiting for flight 3620 to Ithaca, NY, to board. Then it's 9pm. Then 9:10pm. Nothing. No one comes to the gate. No one changes the sign. A plane sits alone and forlorn at the end of the jetway. Frequent checks of the board in the terminal say that the flight is ON TIME. (Note the picture... even at 9:53pm, the flight scheduled to leave 23 minutes before was still supposedly ON TIME. Hows that for "checking my status"?) I have technology however. About 9:11pm, I pulled out my iPhone, went to www.usairways.com and plugged in the flight number. CANCELLED. I went to a ticket counter for another flight and was told, yes, the flight was cancelled due to air traffic congestion. "In Ithaca?" I asked, wondering if perhaps the tower was scared by a turkey vulture at the airport, circling and circling. "No, here in Philly," I was told. When I pointed out the board still indicated the flight was on time, I was told "we don't control the board." Well who the hell does? Gremlins? This particular mantra is well rehearsed by the entire staff in Concourse F, so at least they're well trained in that respect. I got on standby for an Elmira NY flight, but didn't make it. Syracuse flights were cancelled. I tried Binghamton: also full. When I asked if I could get some kind of voucher for a hotel stay at the very least, they said, "Oh we can't do that when weather is responsible." So which is it, US Airways? Weather or traffic? Maybe you should try to get the lies consistent in the computer so your people on the ground don't have to make it up as they go. She suggested I try to fly into Williamsport, PA, a location 123 miles from Ithaca. Seriously? I finally found a Rochester NY flight with open seats. I was told it was cost me $100 to make a change to that flight, because it wasn't the same region or some bloody nonsense. Even though it's infinitely closer to Ithaca (and even Elmira). I'm happy to report that the charge was apparently not made--the one instance of good customer service I got from the airline all day. Arriving in Rochester meant I had to get a ride from my girlfriend, who drove 96 miles to get me, then 96 miles back. I was nervous for her the entire way up because the weather must be horrible! On Judge Judy, I think that's called "mental anguish." Yeah, you caused that. In the end, did I get home safe? Yes. Though I'm still waiting on my luggage. So what do I want from you, US Airways? Since you haven't charged me the $25 yet for the baggage handling, I expect you won't. That's at the very least. For all the other crap, a free flight somewhere or a first class upgrade on a future trip would also be welcome. But my expectations are low in that regard.Here's what I really want: UPDATE YOUR SOFTWARE. Get your people on the same page. Make sure your hubs have a clue about what's going on. I was one of the first people in Terminal F to know my own flight was cancelled and only because I have a PHONE. That's inexcusable. To then get all sorts of baloney reasons for the cancellation thrown in my face does nothing to help. Maybe you should all try flying your own airline for $800 a pop, do it all day, and see how you feel when people look at you blankly and then read lies off a computer screen. It might make you think. Yours truly,
Listen in on two guys who say plenty when they have nothing to talk about. AGAIN.
[Warning: Where did the bad words touch you?]
Fun: Ass donuts. English accents. Peanuts (not pistachios). Community on NBC. iPad chi.
Crud: Musical sell outs. Verbal Ticks. Apple's corporate douche baggery.
Links:
What the f is a tuffet?
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Once again, we barely have any topics to discuss, and still manage to blather on for over thirty minutes. Thirty minutes of comedy GOLD, people.
[Warning: Swearing in front of children.]
Game of Thrones (good): Uncle Floyd. Ann Bah-Humbug Davis. Windows Phone 7 (really?). Skype totally worth 8 billion bucks. Brady Bunch repeats. CCH Pounder. Louis C.K. Olivia Munn.
Crown of Thorns (crap): Skype outages. Skin tags. Turd-hu-en. Facebook addicts. Soylent Green vs. Enfamil. Cousin Oliver. TV Networks showing shows out of order.
Links:
Which Direction Should I Wipe? (Because it’s important to know.)
One-Man Show (New York Magazine article about Louis C.K.)
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Go behind the scenes to learn that we don't put these stupid podcasts together in a timely manner, AT ALL.
Also, lots of baby noises. Some not from Joe and Eric.
When we say "tunic," by the way, we mean "loincloth." We am not smarts.
[Warning: Even we are shocked at our language. SHOCKED.]
Loverly Stuff: Uh.... we got nothing. Everything sucks.
Hateful Things: NYTimes paywall stupidity/cost; comment anonymity. I Am Number Four.
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Once again, Eric is forced to defend Facebook from Joe’s scurrilous accusations, which are probably all true, so they both feel dirty. So very, very dirty. Plus, some poop jokes.
[Warning: We’ve not been cured of cursing by the magic of Charlie Sheen. Yet.] Things worth caring about: Corn on the cob. Paul McCartney. Sid & Marty Krofft shows like Lidsville. Things worth punching in the face: Facebook algorithms. Facebook taking over the Web. Charlie Sheen. Playing devil’s advocate. Gabrielle Anwar’s dietician. LINKS!
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[Warning: We swear by swears.]
It's been almost three months since we put up a podcast, but we're back...meaner and stupider than ever.
Things we likey: Trying to get on Jeopardy. Shaved Trebek. Non-pushy-religions.
Things we welcome: Our future robot/computer overlords.
Things we hatey: Abusive cults. Rivers of vomited poo. Baby reflux. SEO gaming.
LINKS!
Paul Haggis vs. The Church of Scientology (plus: The New Yorker's Scientology Article, Lawyer Bits Only) (plus: BoingBoing post)
Computer Contestant Dominates Top Humans In Jeopardy
JC Penney Fires Back at Google and New York Times Over SEO Controversy
And for all our complaining about the market for Watson, it turns out that IBM will work with Nuance to improve Watson to work in healthcare. Imagine that episode of House, MD.
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[Warning: Almost serious discourse ruined by potty-talk.]
This is almost entirely a discussion about whether "back-scatter" machines and other scanners at airports are bunk or necessary. But we can all agree the agency running them is as competent as the guy who designed the exhaust ports on the original Death Star.
Our mutual hatred is reserved for the fake unsubscribe links in email newsletters. Die, you mother fuckers.
Then we talk about Things We Are Thankful For, because we are saps.
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[Warning: We don't curse as much as usual, so I made up for with gratuitous F-bombs.]
Hatred Generators: The recording industry suing people, "Bleep My Dad Says," crappy DVR software, TV cable idiocy, sophisticated electronics as baby toys, Batman as Blackwater.
Fondness Creators: How to Be a Jerk on Facebook, knowing Marvel from DC, Fringe, Community, Rally to Restore Sanity's "fucks", swearing in front of children.
Links:
Jammie Thomas Refuses To Pay $1.5 Million Fine For Illegal Downloads
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[Warning: We say things you shouldn't say in front of a three-month-old... in front of a three-month-old.]
Things irate: Not swearing before 10pm. Butts on Mad Men but no boobs, WTF? Too much CGI. VESA vs. VISA joke. Halo single player. Steve Jobs, customer service rep.
Things high rated: Felix the Cat. Slinky. Log! Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse. The Pivot Joke from Friends.
Links:
Virtual Backlot Reel (Greenscreen is Everywhere!)
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How have I never noticed the Flatiron Building out this window before?
[Warning: Raindrops on roses. Whiskers on Kittens. Potty mouth on Eric and Joe.]
Things that piss: Netflix lacking extras. Jersey Shore monkeys. Invisible barrels. Sad TV guest stars that no longer have movie careers. A horrible 80's scifi flick that's considered a "classic."
Things we wish: Product endorsement deals! Pink smoke monsters. TOP GEEK! David Warner. The Black Hole.
Links:
Lenovo N5901 Wireless Keyboard (slash hand trowel)
Engrish
Correction: The robot in The Black Hole is V.I.N.CENT (Vital Information Necessary CENTralized). Herbie is both the robot owned by the Fantastic Four ( H.E.R.B.I.E.: Humanoid Experimental Robot, B-type, Integrated Electronics) and a Love Bug. We apologize for the error. As if you care.
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